Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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