five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize