You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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