I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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