so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
