I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we're making bets on your personal life
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
