oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
