More tranny stories later!
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was born a porn star she said
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
