He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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