never play flip cup with pint glasses
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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