you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees