I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
