My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?