Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot

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  (407): Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot http://tfl.nu/9dyf
  Replies (15) Good night (792) Bad night (2517)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.

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  (360): he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me. http://tfl.nu/9e4p
  Replies (6) Good night (842) Bad night (3838)
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  (310): View more from California

  This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.

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  (310): This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/e7vz
  Replies (17) Good night (783) Bad night (4172)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.

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  (850): My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated. http://tfl.nu/7uws
  Replies (14) Good night (1166) Bad night (4442)
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  (805): View more from California

  Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.

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  (805): Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible. http://tfl.nu/a85b
  Replies (7) Good night (7464) Bad night (907)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?

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  (859): I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!? http://tfl.nu/cr9e
  Replies (6) Good night (594) Bad night (1384)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.

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  (765): I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in. http://tfl.nu/2iri
  Replies (9) Good night (2408) Bad night (741)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am

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  (724): I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed. (412): I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am http://tfl.nu/5n3j
  Replies (9) Good night (2923) Bad night (786)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?

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  (785): She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no? http://tfl.nu/2hle
  Replies (4) Good night (2555) Bad night (603)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today

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  (712): But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today http://tfl.nu/ayt6
  Replies (4) Good night (501) Bad night (1285)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.

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  (307): I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome. http://tfl.nu/fygk
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (1902)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know

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  (+44): Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know http://tfl.nu/1326
  Replies (5) Good night (1450) Bad night (494)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.

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  (914): So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall. http://tfl.nu/w95m
  Replies (4) Good night (1320) Bad night (464)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.

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  (985): He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed. http://tfl.nu/6hgc
  Replies (6) Good night (1156) Bad night (351)
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  (347): View more from New York

  She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.

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  (347): She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina. http://tfl.nu/bvik
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (524)

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