I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off