so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT