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hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
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