Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
