By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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