Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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