We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
