i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize