Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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