every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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