I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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