At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
