I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
