Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize