If i could tip my vagina, i would.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
