yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
