Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
