My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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