Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
