you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
