Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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