I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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