Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
