I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
