im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
