I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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