why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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