My sheets look like a crime scene.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
