Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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