one word: firstdatebathroomanal
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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