There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
