Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
pop tarts are not kleenex
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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