Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
