your thong is hanging out like whoa
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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