your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
