he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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