im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize