yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
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