i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
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