when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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