Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
he just fucked me for my cheese.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
