Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
