Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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