i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
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Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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