I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
