my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize