She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
