so let's talk penis.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
