I heard we made out
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
